[ ♪ theme ♪ ] >> stephanie: happy day before thanksgiving everybody. two reasons to watch. we'll be wasted by hour number three. sexy liberal hal sparks in hour number three. >> what's your poison this morning? >> stephanie: woot. and then we're also going to -- you're going to update us on the latest in this jill kelley tampa socialite, that whole thing. >> it wouldn't be a day of news if we didn't have a jill kelley real housewives update. >> who couldn't have seen that coming? there's a love connection to bubba the love sponge.

>> that was the obvious next step. >> stephanie: it just gets betterrer and betterrer. here's jacki schechner. >> good morning. unfortunately, there is no sign of violence easing up yet between israel and hamas. at least 21 people are injured. three seriously after a bomb exploded on a bus in tel aviv around noon local time. witnesses are telling us authorities they saw a man running toward the bus tossing a bag and running away. police have launched a massive manhunt and believe the explosion is a terrorist attack. israel continues its assault on targets in gaza with more than 100 hit overnight. militants in gaza are firing back having launched an estimated 200 rockets back at israel. jay carney has released a statement from the white house administration calling the bus attack in tel aviv outrageous and affirming the united states's security. hamas not taking responsibility for the bus bomb but celebrating

it. while secretary of state clinton is in cairo trying to negotiate a cease-fire between israel and hamas with the help of egypt she is closely monitoring reports from tel aviv and in constant contact with prime minister benjamin netanyahu's team. we have word this morning of a deadly attack in benghazi, libya. the chief of police has been assassinated overnight. three unidentified gunmen have targeted colonel outside of his home in a drive-by shooting. he was transported to a medical facility and reportedly died en route. he was appointed the head of security after the september 11th attack on our consulate there. bbc reports more than a dozen security officers have been killed in the eastern libyan city so far this year. we'll have more stephanie after the break. you're always welcome to join us in chat online. go to current.com/stephaniemiller. we'll see you after the break.

now? you know the kind of guys who do like reverse mortgage commercials? those types are coming on to me all of the time now. >> she gets the comedians laughing... >> that's hilarious! >> ...and the thinkers, thinking. >> okay, so there is wiggle-room in the ten commandments, is what you're telling me. >> she's joy behar. >> and the best part is that current will let me say anything. >> what the hell were they thinking? >> only on current tv. brought to you by geico. 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance. visit geico.com for a free rate quote.

but when joint pain and stiffness from psoriatic arthritis hit even the smallest things became difficult. i finally understood what serious joint pain is like. i talked to my rheumatologist and he prescribed enbrel. enbrel can help relieve pain, stiffness, and stop joint damage. because enbrel, etanercept suppresses your immune system, it may lower your ability to fight infections. serious, sometimes fatal events including infections tuberculosis lymphoma, other cancers, and nervous system and blood disorders have occurred. before starting enbrel your doctor should test you for tuberculosis and discuss whether you've been to a region where certain fungal infections are common. don't start enbrel if you have an infection like the flu. tell your doctor if you're prone to infections, have cuts or sores have had hepatitis b have been treated for heart failure, or if, while on enbrel, you experience persistent fever, bruising, bleeding, or paleness. [ phil ] get back to the things that matter most. ask your rheumatologist if enbrel is right for you. [ doctor ] enbrel, the number one biologic medicine

prescribed by rheumatologists. [ ♪ theme music ♪ ] >> announcer: ladies and gentlemen, it's "the stephanie miller >> announcer: ladies and gentlemen, it's "the stephanie miller show." ♪ i'm walkin' on sunshine ♪ ♪ i'm walkin' on sunshine ♪ ♪ and it's time to feel good ♪ ♪ hey, all right now ♪ ♪ and it's time to feel good ♪ >> stephanie: woot. it is "the stephanie miller show." it is our preholiday extravaganza. >> by extravaganza, you mean -- >> stephanie: we're barely here and barely sober. 1-800-steph-12 the phone number toll free from anywhere. happy thanksgiving. off tomorrow and friday. if you haven't heard them, they're new to you. you can e-mail us at

stephaniemiller.com, chris lavoie jim ward or me, stephanie stephanie miller. this has us written all over it. turkey and che boygen. scheb boygan. dateline cha cheb oigen. a turkey flew into a power line in cheboygan. >> turkeys can fly? les told me from wkrp in cincinnati that turkeys can fly. >> it gave me three opportunities to say cheb cheboygan. lost power for about 1500 people. i wonder if it was anywhere near -- where our other --

[theme from the lone ranger] ♪ cheboygan. ♪ cheboygan ♪ >> wow. ♪ cheboygan ♪ >> what's the point of that again? [ applause ] >> stephanie: here's why. we love the word cheboygan number one. number two, you can't say bark bark without repeating it. see, it makes you say it. i went to the one in palm springs first. the first time i saw bark bark. see? it is a dog park. okay. then i don't know why. who doesn't like to say -- [ ♪ dramatic ♪ ] bark bark.

so that's why. boy, when the show starts like that, you know it is only getting better. >> for some reason, set to the william tell overture. >> stephanie: we don't know why. just because. lots of actual news and a couple of love letters to me? >> okay. >> stephanie: this one from steven. someone named steve. greetings, surprising one. >> what? >> stephanie: okay. i have zero idea what you look like and was gladly surprised to see you're not a buttless old jug. at this point in my life, that passes as a compliment. >> at least you're not a buttless old jug. >> stephanie: okay. you are truly beautiful. wish your show was carried on one of the local stations in my area. good luck because there's no market for this sort of thing. not really sure what this means or whether i'm supposed to read it. please send me a picture of your

scrunch. steven. >> what does that mean? >> stephanie: maybe. >> is that something you can't say on the air? >> stephanie: i don't know. some of the kids might call me. send me a picture of your scrunch. >> i think it means something filthy. >> stephanie: i've never heard that. >> i haven't either. >> stephanie: a scrunchy is a hair tie. >> he didn't say scrunchy. he said scrunch. which i'm sure is something completely different. >> stephanie: you don't know. >> i'm going to urban dictionary right now. >> well, you know, the internet, people invent words overnight. >> stephanie: more rejection. what else is new in my life. father of -- diane father-in-law feedback. my father-in-law wants you on current tv for the first time yesterday. you were good but you're too skinny. the men in my family not into the skinny women. diane in lansing michigan. her father is not that into me.

>> he's not interested in seeing your scrunch apparently. >> stephanie: requests to see the aforementioned -- >> scrunch. >> stephanie: thank you. okay. if he's new to the show, maybe he doesn't know that i'm not that into -- you know, anyone with a [ bleep ] i don't really care that he thinks -- >> you're not into richard. >> stephanie: chris, yes? >> according to urban dictionary -- there are several definitions. a scrunch is when a girl's bikini bottom goes up her butt. it can mean a hot chick. or scrunch can mean a scrotum with one testicle. [ buzzer ] [ laughter ] >> stephanie: i beg your part. i have not had that since like 1974. that is offensive to me. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: all right. i have two holiday gifts. one for me. one for jim. here we go. [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ] i try to find any story that makes me feel like less of a

loser, less of a freak. this will do it. >> all right. >> stephanie: swedish woman used skeleton for sex acts. what now! >> well, hmm. maybe we should ask travis bone what that's all about. >> stephanie: see what t-bone thinks. a swedish woman was charged on tuesday with potion of human skulls and bones. which prosecution claims she used for sexual purposes. i need some different music for this. the 37-year-old woman kept at least six skulls -- she's a little bit of a skull slut if i must say. i'm not saying variety -- >> she's a slut. >> stephanie: you can't even commit to one skull. really? she was cheating on five other skulls. >> reminds me of the line from

"last detail," the one-night hooker. >> stephanie: one is fine. she was monogamous with one spine. and a large number of other bones. >> like a femur? >> stephanie: i don't know. they didn't bother to name them. some other -- a clavicle? it doesn't say. >> a humor us. >> stephanie: she had used the human body parts for various sexual activities. the mind boggles. >> no, the mind does not boggle. i can understand what she used some of the bones for. >> some of the bones sure. >> stephanie: pictures from a morgue also included in the evidence were found in a secret compartment in the woman's home along with a drill and body bags. >> oh, well, that would explain the origin of the skeletons, i guess. >> stephanie: she was charged with violating the peace of the dead.

the access code to the morgue was also found in her apartment. i think she just -- sounds like a morgue thief. i don't think she -- >> is not on an indian burial ground if she's in sweden. >> stephanie: on the internet -- my morals set my limits and i'm prepared to take the punishment. if something should happen. it's worth it. i want my man like he is whether he's dead or alive. he allows me to find sexual happiness on the side who says she's in a relationship. this woman is in a relationship. a court ordered psychiatric evaluation found her to be legally sane. everything is a-okay. except for the [ bleep ] various body parts. >> bones. >> the skull. >> stephanie: other than that. cooke this is a holiday gift for

jim. ooh, look, i even printed it out, jim! ooh. wouldn't this be quite the gift. best internet rumor of the day. bunch of folks sent me this. best internet rumor of the day. jim has talked about this. as has dan hartman. a hacking group associated with anonymous claims to have penetrated karl rove's network and plant and tested a targeted password protected fire wall called the great oz which they hoped would protect the great citizens. they tried unsuccessfully in so 5 times to -- in 105 times to change tallies on election night. which explains his refusal to accept the results. if karl rove doesn't resign, the evidence goes to a certain painfully bored nemesis hanging out in an embassy in london. [ ♪ dramatic ♪ ] >> but more importantly, they're going to give the evidence to the fbi.

>> stephanie: the frog marching of karl rove might happen. >> in 2004, at 11:13, all of the servers crashed and it bounced to another server in tennessee. the votes came back suddenly. kerry was leading in a landslide. >> stephanie: i'm not a constitutional scholar which i know shocks both of you. can john kerry be retroactively named president after president obama? >> no. >> stephanie: why not? >> because. >> stephanie: okay. >> no, he can't be. >> stephanie: fine, you're constitutional scholars but i'm not. >> the server crashed at 11:13 they bounced over to -- i don't know where they went -- but they were able to keep them from flipping the votes. that's why rove was so stunned. that's why he didn't bother to write -- >> stephanie: somebody said that. wonder if we can hack it back. maybe we did. >> that's what i called for back

then. >> stephanie: except for when we did it it wasn't cheating. it was just winning. winning. drinker. what? is it too late for charlie sheenism? the headline is g.o.p.'s benghazi conspiracy falls apart. white house did not change susan rice's -- any apology to susan rice yet? >> it is not the policy. >> stephanie: for you to apologize ever? not the policy for you not to be bitter? >> clouds! >> fox news dropped benghazi yesterday. >> stephanie: interesting. we'll talk about that when we get back. 17 minutes after the hour. happy thanksgiving. it is the preholiday extravaganza show on "the stephanie miller show." >> announcer: there's a tea party in her pants and you're invited. call now 1-800-steph-12.

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(vo) always outspoken, now unleashed. joy behar. >> i'll talk about surviving thanksgiving with relationship guru iyanla vanzant, and chef michael simon, on say anything. [ music ]

>> announcer: stephanie miller . >> stephanie: mm-hmm, okay, all right, we're trying to compete with florida, aren't we. >> yeah, yeah. >> stephanie: this is just in. >> a pair of lungs were found on a sidewalk in south central l.a. nobody mere by. >> stephanie: south central does ♪ there's no mountain high enough ♪ ♪ ain't no valley low enough ♪ ♪ ain't no river wide enough to keep me from you ♪ >> stephanie miller. >> stephanie: it is "the stephanie miller show." welcome to it. 22 minutes after the hour. 1-800-steph-12 the phone number toll free from anywhere. michelle in madison where are you going for thanksgiving? >> i'm going to cheboygan. >> stephanie: that makes us happy. >> caller: every year we go up

for thanksgiving. >> stephanie: family there? why do you go? >> caller: my husband grew up there. we go to visit family and drink the manhattans then get to the turkey. >> stephanie: manhattans, wow good for you. have fun in cheboygan. >> caller: thanks. happy thanksgiving. >> stephanie: she wanted to make us happy. >> cheboygan. >> stephanie: all right. is the whole show going to be like this? yes. only worse. okay. jana in kentucky, you're on "the stephanie miller show." hi jana. >> caller: hi. happy thanksgiving. >> stephanie: thank you. you, too. >> caller: i wanted to tell you the difference between why a turkey can fly and why a turkey can't fly. okay. wild turkeys fly really good. domesticated turkeys are too heavy so they can't fly. >> stephanie: they're like the fat, married ones. >> they have been bred to have a lot of breast meat. so they're too top heavy. >> stephanie: that's what they say happens when you get married, right?

when you're wild, young turkey, flying around, fear of commitment. >> caller: what i'm thankful this year is current tv, stephanie miller and all of her wonderful people. >> aww! >> stephanie: thank you, jana. thank you for the turkey fun facts. happy thanksgiving. there she goes. [ applause ] >> we ever need a city with a funny name, i nominate regina, saskatchewan. sounds like, you know. >> stephanie: okay. >> oh, god. >> stephanie: it is not as fun as the big beaver corridor which is exit -- >> 69. >> right outside of detroit. [ applause ] >> there is a comedy god. >> stephanie: wow. that was a fun fact. who knew. domesticated turkeys because they've been in the barcalounger drinking beer, watching football. having a little wife making the sand wi. >> my friend patrick said that they get angry and chase people,

wild turkeys do. >> they're wild. of course they will. >> stephanie: let's go to -- >> unfettered, if you will. >> stephanie: frank in san francisco. hello, frank. >> caller: good morning. this is such a thrill and an honor. i love you guys. i never miss a show. i live for it. i wanted to comment on -- i remember vividly when gw bush won the election -- became president -- he looked right in the camera and said i have political clout and i'm going to use it. he did use it to take us to war and wreck the economy. now why doesn't our president have better clout bigger clout. i'm going to use my clout to take us to peace. >> well, if it were that easy, i would have done that by now. >> stephanie: he just reminded me of one of the bush quirks we hated so much is that when he would say a word, he would say another word and then use the same word.

in other words -- >> i got the capital. political capital. that's different than what you just said. >> it is a new word i learned. >> capital. political capital. >> stephanie: carol in pennsylvania hi, welcome. >> caller: thank you. i want to wish you all happy holiday. you deserve it. >> stephanie: thank you. >> caller: i want to thank you your staff you're all marvelous. i can't say enough about you. and for reality sprinkles with some comedy, lots of comedy and great thoughts. >> stephanie: thank you. happy thanksgiving to you and yours. >> thank you. >> stephanie: by the way would you like a sad story about my sad little life because having thanksgiving to you and yours. mine means you and jim. mine means having jim over for thanksgiving and a few other friends and then taking you on a date on saturday. book of mormon. >> to a matinee because neither one of us can see an evening

show. >> stephanie: we're going to bring our werther's and our snack packs and we'll be drooling and sleeping each other by the end. >> chase in the chat room says if having big breasts means you can't fly then jennifer tilley must take the train. >> stephanie: big booby joke. >> this just in. wild turkeys determined wild because they've been drinking too much wild turkey. >> stephanie: thank you for that thanksgiving fun fact. [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ] you don't get that kind of information at a bark bark. >> or cheboygan. >> for from gala flir. >> stephanie: i don't know if anyone else is enjoying this but i am. >> we're not even a half hour into the show yet. what the hell. >> stephanie: david in new york. this is exactly what thanksgiving is like at my house. hi david. how are you? >> caller: i'm all right. listen, i'm a big fan of yours. >> stephanie: thank you.

>> caller: i have one question. i totally agree with your political viewpoints. 1,000%. the capitalists and the romney reagan ryan, all of that -- he didn't get to his complaint because he dropped the "f" bomb on me. he dropped a bomb on me. >> did you get that current? >> stephanie: thank you for that gift. mike in los angeles. you're on "the stephanie miller show." hi mike. >> caller: hi, stephanie. >> stephanie: go ahead. >> caller: i'm hooked on you guys. >> stephanie: i'm hooked on you. >> caller: i love the way jim does reince priebus. >> reince priebus! >> caller: say, i wanted to ask you, you recall romney saying that obama made the recession worse during the campaign. >> stephanie: who said that? >> caller: romney. why didn't obama mention well the stock market is higher than it's ever been under me. >> stephanie: corporate

profits at an all-time high. >> caller: exactly. he made it so worse but then big business didn't back him. >> stephanie: absolutely. mike, i was distracted because i love a man who starts a sentence with say. i don't know why. it is old-fashioned. i picture you drinking an old man drink after that. >> by the way too i happen to be black and -- >> stephanie: oh! >> caller: i didn't receive my compensation from obama that romney said i was supposed to get. nobody else got their gifts that i know of. >> stephanie: the president probably didn't use amazon. he forgot to renew his amazon prime. say, okay. say, let me take a sip of my gim let. 29 minutes after the hour. jacki next with a healthcare corner and the latest in the real housewives sitcom. >> stephanie: on "the stephanie miller show."

i think that the audience gets that this guy, to the best of his ability, is trying to look out for us.

[ ♪ music ♪ ] >> of course all of my relatives will be over for thanksgiving dinner. i know they will. they're circling over the house now. >> stephanie: jim was so cute for the party. he brings his box of harmonicas and then it rained. [ wah wah ] bring them for thanksgiving. we're going to play some music. eat some turkey. drink some -- >> drink some stuff. >> stuff? >> stephanie: okay. all right. lots to get to here. hello jacki schechner again. >> good morning. >> stephanie: are you going home to your real family? not your work family.

>> yes. i'm going home to my real family for thanksgiving. >> stephanie: fine! [ wah wah ] >> i've been working out extra hard so i can eat seconds and thirds of my mother's stuffing. it is extraordinary. >> stephanie: what's in the mrs. schechner stuffing? >> do i look like i cook? i have no idea. it is delicious. what she does is she makes the stuffing to bring to the dinner and then she makes an extra pan of it for me. >> stephanie: oh! to take home with you? >> no, to eat while i'm home. >> are you the kind of person that likes the crusty stuff at the edge of the pan? >> it is so good. it has this crusty topping and there's mushrooms. it is not that mushy stuffing. it's got more like a solid -- it is -- >> stephanie: i've shared my mom's polish sauerkraut recipe for thanksgiving. it would seem like mrs. schechner shouldn't be so withholding. >> oh fine. >> i'm sure she's watching or dvring or taking notes. >> stephanie: mom, what did we learn today?

sharing. >> there is no sauerkraut involved. >> thank god. [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ] >> stephanie: jacki schechner it does get betterrer and betterrer, the whole separate housewives scandal. jill kelley i think is my favorite. so bubba the love strong is involved. explain. >> want me to explain? i'm not familiar with bubba the love sponge. i had to look that up to make sure it is a real thing. >> he's a radio host in tampa. >> i was unfamiliar with that. i thought oh, somebody is punking us. >> stephanie: no. real guy. >> but it seems like jill kelley was somehow engaged to get him to stop -- i guess he threatened to deep fry a koran -- >> stephanie: probably get people killed. >> general petraeus and general allen were unhappy with this alleged proposal of a stunt so

they called on jill kelley to intervene. >> stephanie: because, as you do anyone know a tampa socialite? that's who we need. >> most bizarre super heroine ever. >> stephanie: maybe the president should nominate her as the new secretary of state. >> so strange. whenever they had an issue, they called jill? >> she's the fixer. she's like harvey keitel in pulp fiction. >> stephanie: i'll bet john mccain would let her sail through. okay. all right. [ whatever! ] >> i don't understand. >> stephanie: did you call bubba the love sponge? that's just weird. all right. in serious news -- [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ] we dive into jacki's healthcare corner. you sent me a "washington post" piece. this is going to be a serious problem but many americans unaware of healthcare law changes. now comes the real work, right? people knowing about this and because if enough people don't take part, it's not going to

work right? >> right. we've got a big task ahead of us and this is going to be a big issue. obviously we know from the fight over the affordable care act that we had a lot of trouble getting the right information out. so people knew what was really going on and what the affordable care act really does. >> stephanie: i was just going to say once again republicans thanks again because they spent so much time demagoguing it and stonewalling it, it has led to this wall of misinformation that now that it survived the supreme court in this election, we have to start getting out the right information so people know what to do. >> right. the problem is that we have to get people enrolled in the plans. get people to understand how they can take part in the healthcare exchanges what they are, how to access them. the problem is we've got to get critical mass, right. we've got to get a lot of people involved so we can keep prices low. so that we can use the power of more and more people, insurance companies will keep their rates -- allegedly will keep the rates lower if they have more people enrolled. the idea is to get people to

participate. that's very difficult to do when people don't know what exists so the government has a real kind of p.r. task ahead of it. to try to get the information out. that's tricky. we see this problematic in the healthcare system already things like medicaid where people who are eligible don't know how to participate. >> stephanie: we see people, just yesterday continuing to publicize this, the latest was the governor of oklahoma who said oh, i'm not going to do the exchange because it is going to cost oklahomans too much money. she turned down $40 something million of federal funding for this. >> i think it was like $54 million that would have helped them study how best to set up and implement a state-based exchange. it was grant money that was offered by hhs and it looked like she turned it down. there were two different stories. one that she turned down a chunk of change and another saying they offered the grant. i assume that's the money she had turned down but a lot of the governors are standing on principle. it is the same thing rick scott

did with the high-speed rail system in florida. it was like i think it was a couple billion dollars he was offered to build a high-speed rail system. he turned it down on principle. that money goes somewhere else. >> stephanie: this is the problem. i love this part of the story. initial white house effort at outreach caused congressional republicans to use taxpayer money for political gain. >> they've tried to reach out and republicans said it was political during an election year. >> stephanie: educate people about what's in healthcare so they can take advantage of it. it can help people. that's what i mean. we're up against so much intransigence. they were unfamiliar with the new coverage options in the survey, in a new poll. 83% of those likely qualify for the expansion of medicaid, were unaware of that option. so now what? >> the problem is the government has a lot of trouble simplifying this information so people understand it. that's a lot of what we're trying to do here. when we talk about this, we try

to make it easy to understand. you know, what i want to do and i think we collectively continue to want to do is to make this as easy as possible for people to not only get it but to be able to share it with their friends and family. maybe we can help plug the holes a little bit. >> stephanie: some people are saying we're going to need a fairly massive p.r. campaign for people to understand this, to take advantage of it in time. >> they did that in massachusetts. they used the red sox as part of a p.r. campaign. they got people to pay attention that way. but yeah, that is what we're going to need. i think people need to understand a couple of things. what's going to happen is each state is going to set up the exchanges which are going to be like market places. i like to describe them as travelocity or expedia. one-stop shop for your travel or compiles all of the possibilities. that's what it is going to be like. on the back end, however, it will figure out whether or not based on your income you qualify for what's called a subsidy which is essentially help paying for the premium. you're still going to pay your premiums but you're going to get

help based on how much money you make. the back end of the system will have to figure out who qualifies and who doesn't. that's where some of the infrastructure will be complicated on the state level and the federal level to figure out what kind of subsidies people qualify for. but people -- anybody can shop in the exchange except i think undocumented immigrants are the only people who are excluded from it. but you can shop as an individual on the exchange and if you qualify for a subsidy great. if not you're still able to shop on the exchange and shop and contrast plans. that's fundamentally what's going into place. people need to know that they exist. they need to know how to access them and what to look for. >> stephanie: the subsidies don't begin for another year, right? >> allegedly we're going to start rolling -- enrolling people in 2013 but the exchanges won't be ready, up and running until january 2014 which isn't that far away if you think about it. >> stephanie: do you think that -- again, there is going to be any -- are we just in this post-election tantrumy period

still where people are still trying to make political points or do you think at some point this becomes inevitable? >> well, i think -- what's happened is a lot of these people stood on ceremony and threw tantrums all the way along because ideologically they didn't want to skep accept the fact that we need to change our healthcare system and that the obama administration and congress took a good step forward in doing the right thing. it is something that the republicans haven't done ever. so i think that it became a political fight and they ignore would the fact there's some decent policy in there. and now they haven't read the bill. they haven't done their homework. they've regurgitated talking points for so long -- >> stephanie: yep. >> they're behind the eight ball. none of them know what to do because they have to admit they were wrong. >> stephanie: they've succeeded in confusing a lot of americans about what's in there. >> they're confused. i don't think any of them really understand what it is we're doing and why we're doing it. i really believe that these people need to kind of sit down -- take it on the plane

with you. >> stephanie: right. light reading on the plane for your holiday visit. i can only take so many calls for jacki schechner. we can't clear up all of the confusion on this show. >> i will tell people healthcare.gov, i know people are afraid of government sites but healthcare.gov has some really good explanationless of what's going on. they'll tell you what's going on for individuals, for small business, for large businesses. it gives you a lot of information and then the kaiser family foundation also does a lot of really good work on this. families u.s.a. has good information. you can really reach out and look for information online but go to some of those resources especially healthcare.gov because they break it down. you can read the entire law. >> stephanie: i'm not doing this as a public service to help people. i'm trying to do it as a way to clear my inbox of questions for you so that i can get more pictures of cute puppies and kitty videos. >> i get a lot of questions but there are only so many hours in

the day and i have to stay up on this pentagon petraeus thing. >> stephanie: you've got stuff to do and i've got kitty videos to look at. can you ask jacki a thousand times a day. [ buzzer ] no! there you go. healthcare. say it again. >> healthcare.gov. >> i just put a link to it up on your facebook page. >> that's like magic! [ ♪ magic wand ♪ ] >> i'll work on -- speaking of healthcare, i'll work on getting that stuffing recipe for you. >> stephanie: give it up. >> sausage. sausage stuffing is really good. >> no, it doesn't. i'm sure you could add sauce and to it. it is sounding bad now. >> stephanie: you got jim's attention. thank you, jacki schechner. love you. >> love you guys, too. >> stephanie: have a delightful holiday side dish. 45 minutes after the hour. right back on "the stephanie miller show." >> announcer: it's like a mensa meeting with fart jokes. it's "the stephanie miller show."

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♪ yeah ♪ ♪ woo ♪ ♪ yeah ♪ ♪ it's take to -- stephanie miller ♪ to make a thing go right ♪ ♪ it takes two to make it out of sight ♪ >> stephanie: yeah, yeah. it is "the stephanie miller show." welcome to it. 50 minutes after the hour. 1-800-steph-12 the phone number toll free from anywhere. it is our broadcast news moment. thank you, travis. 1-800-steph-12 toll free from anywhere. sexy liberal hal sparks live in studio in hour number three today and much more. all right. we have -- i'm still waiting and we're waiting and we're waiting. [ ♪ "jeopardy" theme ♪ ] for john mccain's apology. and no.

>> stephanie: here's a fun fact. kevin says i now understand why mccain has it in for susan rice. from her wikipedia page, she went on leave to serve as senior foreign policy adviser to barack obama in 2008. presidential campaign, rice took a disparaging view of obama's republican opponent in the campaign, john mccain, calling his policies reckless. and dismissing the arizona senator's trip to iraq as strolling around the market in a flack jacket. that's why the angriest little elf is the angriest, bitterest little elf ever. >> a leprechaun, not an elf. >> stephanie: sorry. >> select committee, if appointed, clears her of any wrong doing besides not being very bright because it was obvious that this was not a quote flash mob, there was no demonstration, charlie. there was none there. >> you were there? you saw all of this? >> stephanie: yeah. you know, you thought after the election result, there would be a reality check on the other

side. you said fox news has dropped this. >> yeah. >> stephanie: is john mccain of ever admitting he was wrong whether it is on don't ask don't tell? >> he's famous for never admitting he's wrong. >> stephanie: the ship has sailed. what is he talking about? [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ] intelligence officials told cnn the intelligence community, not the white house changed the benghazi talking points given to susan rice. what is he -- he does not like the stand on this. director of national intelligence spokesperson said the only changes came from the intelligence community not the white house. as david petraeus just said. he keeps screaming about he's looking for answers. he gets them and he keeps screaming. >> those aren't the answers i want. i need better answers! >> stephanie: the original assessment of the benghazi attack was it was carried out by al-qaeda affiliated groups. he said that analysis was taken out after an interagency review

in favor of a more general review that they did not tip off terrorists to u.s. knowledge of the matter. we already covered this. general petraeus and now other intelligence officials are just -- you know, making it even clearer. so let's see. john mccain, lindsey graham, blah blah, have accused the white house of stripping for political reasons. the director of the c.i.a. and now current intelligence officials have said no. intelligence agencies changed it not the white house. i don't understand why we're even talking about this still. let's see. he said the intelligence community made substantial analytical changes with the talking points were sent to the government agency, partners for their feedback. there were no substantive changes made to the talking points after they left the intelligence community. period. another anonymous official echoed him saying they were made based on intelligence and legal purposes. first the individual about the individuals linked to al-qaeda was derived from classified

sources. classified. second were so tenuous. they still are. it makes sense to be cautious before pointing fingers so you don't set off a chain of circular and self-reinforcing assumptions. third is it important to not prejudice an investigation in the early stages. representative adam schiff who we just had on yesterday from the house intelligence committee said petraeus was adamant there was no white house interference or political agenda. oh gosh. >> i want to blame it on that one. >> stephanie: the story's media commentators are beginning to wonder why republicans are picking up a substance-free fight with rice, a woman and an african-american. which is why james clyburn and others are saying these are code words. like john sununu calling the president not very bright and lazy. the first debate. again, to say she's not bright, i mean -- >> that's a lie. >> stephanie: yeah. representative james clyburn

called this yesterday. accused the congress of using racial code words to undermine susan rice even though they can't hold a canadale to her intellectually. these 97 house republicans said rice is widely viewed as having competently misled -- the c.i.a. says no. these are the talking points. i don't understand why there's any criticism of her at this point. yeah. john mccain said she's not qualified and not very bright as we just played. representative marcia fudge said there is a clear -- >> masha fudge -- >> stephanie: that's her name. that there's clear racism and sexism. clyburn said these are code words. we heard them in the campaign. we heard senator sununu calling our president lazy, incompetent. these kinds of terms that those of us, especially those of us who were born and raised in the south, we've been hearing them all of our lives. we get insulted by them. susan rice is as competent as anyone you can find.

to call her incompetent a ph.d., a rhodes scholar from being called incompetent by someone who can't hold a canadale to her intellectually and senator mccain called her incompetent. he told us that sarah palin was a competent person to be vice president of the united states. that would tell. >> little bit about his judgment. thank you, representative clyburn. >> it is personal for him. he's leading all of the republicans in this attack on susan rice because of the personal things -- >> damn clouds! >> stephanie: she's like a cloud he's angry at. honestly, even to say she did somethingerroneously. she didn't. these are the talking points, the intelligence agency says this is what it is. they feel it was unclassified to talk about it at the time. >> stephanie: it is insulting for the republicans to call her a stooge. someone who is plyiant who would read anything that the white house would put in front of her. >> that's what they do at fox news. >> exactly. that's not what susan rice does. >> stephanie: stacy from

illinois, you're on "the stephanie miller show." hi stays. >> caller: forget john mccain, i want an apology from mitt romney for being called like lazy 47% but my comment was -- >> stephanie: by the way can i tell you something. isn't it ironic file by the way. ♪ isn't it ironic ♪ >> stephanie: romney will finish up the 2012 election with a little over 47% of the popular vote. [ wah wah ] >> caller: what scares me though is yesterday i watched -- glenn beck has his new book out. he's advertising it. he was trying to sum it all up. they were questioning him. he was telling him a little bit about it. i listened to the whole thing and it made absolutely no sense. it was weird. i couldn't figure out what he was talking about. at the end said something about he was confused because he couldn't understand why liberals were -- they seemed -- dumber than tea partiers but now people are saying tea partiers are and it is like he's flipping out on

tv or something. it was weird. >> stephanie: that's something new for glenn beck. >> caller: he said he's in texas now. he moved. he took over like a weird -- he turned minister. i've been working him for years. i've been watching politics for ten years. i watched him when he first came out. he was wacky and weird. he drew old women 70 to 89 or whatever. i heard he would go into old folks homes get them to stand and cheer and hold signs and nobody would have chairs for them or they wouldn't get a bus back to the old folks' home. he's shady. >> stephanie: glenn beck is? >> he moved to texas. >> stephanie: he said he would move by land, something after the election. >> there's something wackoish about what he's doing. >> stephanie: 58 minutes after the hour. right back on "the stephanie miller show." governor tomorrow night. she is awesome. we'll be right back on the "stephanie miller show."

[ ♪ theme ♪ ] >> stephanie: hello. happy hour number two. jacki schechner the universe does have a sense of humor. [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ] this just in. msnbc reporting romney will probably finish up with just about 47% of the popular vote. >> the ironies are extraordinary, isn't it? >> stephanie: that's just a thing of beauty. >> isn't glenn beck a mormon? >> yes, he is. >> he wouldn't be leading a megachurch. >> he only -- became mormon in order to marry his hot chick of a wife. >> stephanie: he's thinking morm -- he's faking mo

mormonism. she's probably faking orgasms. he said to go buy land after the election. go buy a farm. i'll get right on that. >> in the wacoish way. >> i remember reading a profile of him. it said he was mormon. >> if he's stockpiling gasoline, that's a bad sign. >> stephanie: honey guess who moved in next door. >> see the photo of mitt romney pumping his own gas? >> yeah. >> stephanie: the president in tie and tails clinking champagne glasses. here she is, jacki schechner. >> president obama's going to carry out a white house tradition today that's been in place since 1963. he's going to pardon a turkey. but this year, the white house is trying something new and it is letting you pick which turkey it pardons. the two contenders are 40-pounders raised in virginia and they've been named gobbler and cobbler. they're profiled on facebook. each with its own page. gobbler prefers corn and songs

that feature the skittle. cobbler eats cranberries and likes the carly simon tune "you're so vain." the whole exercise is mostly ceremonial as both turkeys will be spared and then they're sent to mount vernon where they will retire together. peta not happy with the entire pardon tradition and has asked the president to skip it altogether. newkirk, the president of the animal rights organization sent a letter to the white house saying that turkeys don't need to be pardoned because they didn't do anything wrong. the white house is not expected to comply. and speaking of big turkeys, it seems like papa john's ceo has had a change of heart in the wake of some really bad publicity. john writing in the puffington host -- "huffington post" said he was misunderstood when he said he would raise prices in response to national healthcare reform. he's back-pedaling in an extraordinary way but he says now that all company-owned stores will honor the law and offer their employees access to health insurance. see if he sticks to it.

back after the break. people when i'm upset. do you share the sense of outrage that they're doing this, this corruption based on corruption based on corruption. >>i think that's an understatement, eliot. u>> i'm not prone tot. understatement, so explain to me why that is. i think the mob learned from wall st., not vice versa.

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the twist you can't resist. [ ♪ theme music ♪ ] >> announcer: ladies and gentlemen, it's "the stephanie miller show." ♪ i'm walkin' on sunshine ♪ ♪ i'm walkin' on sunshine ♪ ♪ and it's time to feel good ♪ ♪ hey, all right now ♪ ♪ and it's time to feel good ♪ >> stephanie: it is "the stephanie miller show." welcome to it. happy thanksgiving, everybody. six minutes after the hour. 1-800-steph-12 the phone number toll free from anywhere. stephaniemiller.com. check it out. you can e-mail us all there. like julie in seattle did. ellie is making my mom's polish sauerkraut for thanksgiving.

mama, ellie really is making your polish thanksgiving side dish for 15 people. yikes. that's a big frying pan. she plans to record the reactions when she serves it. not a pot. you need a pan. a frying pan ellie. >> a saute pan. >> stephanie: for god's sakes. i have to go to everybody's house. hence for numerous demands for the recipe, number one, you said you boil it for like 20 minutes. seriously? doesn't it turn into a gelatinous cabbage goo? >> no. >> stephanie: you put a little water in there you boil it for 20 minutes then you drain it and put it in the fry pan with the sauteed mushrooms and onions. >> i would think that would soften the cabbage even more. >> stephanie: right. are the fumes flammable? no. can you substitute it to make it a korean thanksgiving? why not. has anyone ever asked for seconds? >> yes. >> it is basically spicy

sauerkraut. >> stephanie: you're on your own. i'm a poll okay. you're all welcome to your own ethnic version of it. i'm out now. happy thanksgiving. finito. we have important work to do. wnba star from the chicago sky olympic gold medalist, i don't think they hear this on conservative shows on guests, you said oh, she did just come back from -- >> south africa. >> where she was feeding the hungry. >> stephanie: i don't think any guests on the right wing show -- >> no. >> stephanie: yet she joins us now. good morning ruth. >> good morning. >> stephanie: you must be a little sleepy. >> well, i crashed pretty early last night. i'm good to go. >> stephanie: talk to us about your work. it is called no kid hungry. correct? and tell us about it. >> no kid hungry is a wonderful campaign here in the united states. most people when they think of hunger issues, they do think of africa or developing world.

the reality is that so many children are going hungry here in the u.s. and i'm trying to bring some light and awareness to that issue. >> stephanie: it seems like a simple mission. no kid hungry campaign -- kids in need and teaches their family thousand cook healthy affordable meals. that sounds simple. that's the whole game, isn't it? >> it is. it is very simple. you know, there are some wonderful programs out there. it is really just trying to connect a kid who is hungry to those programs. school is the best way to do that. kids, they're in school. it is hard for them to concentrate if they don't have nutrition to get them through the day. not only are you providing them the resource they need at the time but it is a way to help them even down the road gain a positive education. >> stephanie: part of this -- we're talking about school. it is about getting school

breakfast, summer meals, stuff like that, right? >> yeah. it's programs in the morning for breakfast where kids can come to school, get you nutrition in the morning. obviously free programs during the day. then during the summer where these kids, oftentimes this is the only nutritious meal they're getting is at school, making sure there is a provision for them whether at a food bank or park or church or somewhere where they can get the free meal during the summer as well. >> stephanie: ruth, you know, obviously we just sort of -- we barely survived this whole political season. there's so much demagoguing. and you know, the president obviously was called the food stamp president by newt gingrich and who can remember what other republicans and all of that. you have a personal story about growing one food stamps and how important that is to so many people in this country. >> i do. my mom raised three kids on her own. there was a period of time in my

childhood where she couldn't do it by herself. she needed the assistance. she is a very proud woman and worked extremely hard in multiple jobs but there was an 8-month period where she relied on food stamps to get us by. it is humbling on one side. on the other you're extremely grateful there is that provision for the people who truly need them. >> stephanie: that's the thing. i think that's why in my opinion, there was so much outrage over mitt romney's comments because you know, 47% of us are not moochers. people that have to take food stamps at whatever points in their life, it is not like that's their aspiration. it is necessary. >> it is necessary. it is humbling to say i need help from somebody else, to actually reach out and take that. but the economic trends in our country is alarming. so many people are in need. not just because of the situation they're facing, like the economy and unemployment. you know.

we think about unemployment issues but you forget how that affects children and get hungry is trying to take care of a small portion of that. >> stephanie: talk to us about the cooking matters program. that sounds actually really, really interesting. >> cooking matters is a great way for people to learn thousand to cook on a budget. -- learn how to cook on a budget. that's something regardless of your income, it is important to know. also how to cook healthy nutritious meals. a lot of people don't understand -- how they can make their money spread and last and that they can buy quality meals and give their kids the nutrition that they need. >> stephanie: yeah. ruth, you just got back from south africa? >> did i. i had a wonderful trip over there. >> stephanie: wow. so what can we do -- talk to us about what we can do right here in america because as you said, i think we got a report yesterday that it was like in

oklahoma, they talked about the number of kids that go to bed hungry every day and i think people just don't -- first of all, know that's happening in america. and be what they can do about it. >> there are so many things you can do. if you log on to nokid-hungry.org, there's tons of information on there. as we go into the holiday season, thinking of others who don't have the food we're about to share with our families is a great time to log on and just make a difference whether it's making donation, whether it is volunteering. teaching your kids about some of these issues. it is a great teaching point as well. >> stephanie: ruth, does the chicago sky, do they need anyone with a good hook shot? although a little bit older? >> yeah, sure. >> stephanie: i don't want to brag. i was first team all catholic in 1979 in upstate new york. catholic league. >> come on out. we would love to have you. >> stephanie: just thought you should know that. >> bones are a little more brittle than they were back

then. >> sky-hook. >> sky-hook. exactly. >> stephanie: my phones are going to -- my bones are going to snap like a sparrow my first attempt at a sky-hook. ruth riley of the chicago sky thanks so much and happy thanksgiving. >> thanks. same to you. >> stephanie: thank you. there she goes. >> no kid hungry.org. we put a link up to it on your facebook page. >> stephanie: first time they pass me the ball, my bones will shatter. grandma, here! >> stephanie: hit me at the top of the key. >> just fall into a gelatinous heap on the hardwood. >> stephanie: what? who. she's hot. hello, jim. [ applause ] >> she talked about very important stuff. >> stephanie: thank god i didn't have a visual. okay. hmm. >> oh, my god. >> stephanie: all right. jim frequently mocks me because i talk about astrology because

you say you're -- >> well, you know. i'm a taurus. i don't believe in that stuff. my numerologist says it is a bunch of [ bleep ] my shaman is on the fence. >> stephanie: shaman hasn't decided yet. stop rolling your eyes at me. mercury went retro gade at 6:00 p.m. on election night. >> look what happened. >> retrograde for karl rove. >> stephanie: julie sends -- horoscope -- >> something about uranus. >> stephanie: stop it, jim! [ buzzer ] i think julie is on your side. a bunch of [ bleep ] this is your [ bleep ] horoscope summed up. aries -- selfish. p word. taurus stubborn [ bleep ] gemini annoying attention whore. cancer, moody jerk. leo, egotistical douche bag. virgo, neurotic bitch.

that's me. flaky derelict. scorpio, obsessive [ bleep ] the t word for woman. sagittarius -- >> tart? >> stephanie: no. sagittarius, awkward [ bleep ] [ laughter ] capricorn, greedy emo. >> what? that's me. i'm not. i'm not a greedy emo. i'm the farthest thing from emo. >> aquarius, perverted psychopath. >> would an emo be wearing a happy camper shirt? no! >> i think not. >> okay. >> starting to have doubts about astrology now based on the t-shirt. >> stephanie: all right. jesse in iowa. another future husband for me. here we go. an athens, georgia man was arrested after he took to the sidewalk from a bar with a taser protruding like a penis then

sparked people walking by. he had a drunken altercation with his wife inside the bar. [ applause ] >> what better place for a drunken altercation. >> in a bar. >> stephanie: i think i'll put a taser in my pants. >> a baby and a taser in a bar. >> i saw the story yesterday. i didn't send it to you. i didn't think you would do it. >> stephanie: what's not great about a taser in his pants? look at you. you've got a taser, in your pants, in a bar. okay. 17 minutes after the hour. we continue with the drunken preholiday extravaganza on "the stephanie miller show." >> announcer: for a good time, call now. 1-800-steph-12.

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66 (vo) always outspoken, now unleashed. joy behar. >> i'll talk about surviving thanksgiving with relationship guru iyanla vanzant, and chef michael simon, on say anything.

>> stephanie miller. ♪ i'm comin' up so you better get this party started ♪ ♪ i'm comin' up ♪ ♪ i'm comin' up so you better get this party started ♪ >> well, in that case. well if you're comin' up. >> stephanie: come on with it. come on. 22 minutes after the hour. 1-800-steph-12 the phone number toll free from anywhere. carol in arizona you're on "the stephanie miller show." hi caroline. >> caller: good morning. happy turkey day. >> stephanie: good morning. >> caller: about your recipe this is the one that my mom use to the use -- used to use for the -- pierogy. and one that we use has got -- instead of bacon it's got

actual pork fat which is really disgusting. but we put caraway in it. >> stephanie: dill is our magic ingredient. >> caraway goes very good. >> stephanie: fine with your caraway. >> stephanie: i celebrate our differences. >> caller: yours is delicious. >> stephanie: oh, dear. i'm sorry. that was a bad phone. >> she dropped her phone in the pierogy. >> stephanie: all right. we have a -- that's right. we haven't done our thanksgiving pageant. >> that's right. >> stephanie: for the kids, they do a thing every year, jim. this is to all of the republican candidates who lost and the tea baggers. >> eat meat! >> sausage and barbecue. >> eat meat! ♪ we won't stay fresh for very long so we're asking you for a venison song ♪ >> stephanie: yea!

okay. including you allen west. >> happy thanksgiving to you and everyone. we're not going to go forward to test the results. we're going to move ahead and we wish congressman murphy very well. >> stephanie: all right. bye-bye, now. see ya. >> move to glenn becky becky stan. >> stephanie: do we have that? >> oh. >> stephanie: glenn becky becky stan. because we're helpers jim. you're absolutely right. all right. oh dear. [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ] this is a disturbing headline for comedy, jim. this from the "wall street journal." i was g.o.p. governor trying to end the straw poll. oh no. julie in seattle says the corn dog fellatio is in jeopardy? the opening event of the clown car season threatened? say it isn't so. >> marcus bachmann is livid. >> stephanie: we would have missed out on mitten's signature -- and michelle bach man and her super nothing bugs

making icky love to dough fried wieners in front of god and the sea of media with cameras. there's a whole -- you know, one of the quirkiest vittuals of -- rituals heading for the grave. it is if iowa's republican governor terry branstad has his way eyeing the wreckage which michele bachmann won only to fizzle shortly after. he said i think the straw poll has outlived its usefulness. it has been a great fund-raiser for the party. i think its days are over. he pointed to ms. bachmann's rapid rise and fall. it no longer makes sense. no no, no! that was a big hunk of my act for sexy liberal. the iowa corn dog. >> i blame jehovah god. >> stephanie: the end is near. don't say. not for the iowa straw poll. no! >> the day is at hand. we are in the last days. you're a jehovah god.

>> stephanie: another g.o.p. chairman said there is nothing like it. any iwoen would talk it down. that's right. [ applause ] that's right. no canceling the iowa corn dog fellatio festivities. because they're helpers and it is thanksgiving -- >> marcus is trying to degay that corn dog. >> stephanie: somewhere for you to move. >> are you tired of your government taking away liberties and freedoms you can't quite name? are your vague platitudes and third hand anecdotal facts falling on deaf ears? come secede ors s.e.c. d with us. >> glenn becky becky stan. >> ly personally come to your house and help you pack. >> your hard earned money is those for you to keep. there are no taxes in glenn becky becky stan stan. there are no roads police, no teachers hospitals libraries garbage pickup or sewage

treatment in glenn becky gecky stan. you'll feel like our founding fathers as you fend off wild animals and your fellow tea baggers when provisions run low and the survivalist training kicks in. >> get off my land. >> who needs government! it's overrated. join us in glenn becky becky becky stan stan. we have freedoms with none of the responsibilities. want to shoot your gun in any direction? go ahead. want to lock your wife and children in the basement? nobody's asking questions. remember, freedom isn't free but with a small downpayment it can be yours. >> glenn becky becky becky stan stan. >> our future is in the past. >> stephanie: thank you, boys. oh, by the way, ron paul, i hope he runs again. any room in the clown car next time. he said the secession petitions raise a lot of worthwhile questions.

uh-huh. he is pleased -- argument pushing back -- >> are you nuts? >> he pushes back against the principal it is unpatriotic. >> push it back, push it back, way back. >> stephanie: he said what is he said is not treasonist for a state to consider such an option. >> yeah, it is. >> confused says yeah. >> stephanie: if the possibility of secession is completely off the table there's nothing to stop the federal government from continuing to encroach on our liberties and no recourse for those who are sick and tired of it. afterall, as he argues, if people cannot says freed an oppressive government, they cannot truly be considered free. it would be oppressive. this one currently. it would be considered -- okay. all right. [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ] good news here, here is a clown car alert. how exciting is this! g.o.p. sees record bench for 2016. [ screaming ] >> they're all creationists. [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ] upwards of 15 prominent

republicans privately considering 2016 campaigns. paul ryan and marco rubio will unveil new policy plans on december 4th. ryan will begin a new push on a more modern push to alleviating poverty. >> kill the poor? >> stephanie: fill in your own blank there. high tech wood chipper? >> just eliminate the poor and you've eliminated poverty. >> stephanie: santorum telling friends he wants to run again. governor rick perry saying he might, too. >> really? >> stephanie: he's begun talking to donors. >> don't they know they already failed at this? >> stephanie: that's a deep bench. >> so you're saying he has the runs? >> stephanie: he came from behind last time. he could surge again. >> go to break. go to break! >> stephanie: we're back on "the stephanie miller show."

armed with the facts, and the arguments to feel confident in their positions. i want them to have the data and i want them to have the passion. but it's also about telling them, you're put on this planet for something more. i want this show to have an impact beyond just informing. an impact that gets people to take action themselves. as a human being, that's really important. this is not just a spectator sport.

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♪ >> announcer: stephanie miller. >> they sit around in their >> announcer: tiffany miller. >> i cook a -- >> stephanie mill err. >> i can't cook a thanksgiving dinner. all i can cook is toast. >> stephanie: republican party 2012. toast! 1-800-steph-12. hi sue. >> caller: happy thanksgiving, everybody. i have three quick points. i am a cancer which makes me a moody bitch. number two, i really wish you all a very happy holiday and a happy thanksgiving and book of mormon is great. you'll have a ball. >> stephanie: we can't wait. we have a date.

don't forget my wrist corsage. >> don't forget my boutonniere. >> drink mojitos. mom is home from the hospital. healing well. i had a lovely mojito and i was feeling no pain. but finally here's the thing. a direct member of my family, in my immediate family worked for susan rice as her research assistant for two and a half years. there is not a finer human being. she has more intelligence and integrity in her tiny little finger than -- >> stephanie: we had her on the show. she was honestly so -- she was so way out of my league intellectually. >> she's way out of my league. >> stephanie: couldn't be nicer. >> she's a great mom. she's a great human american. you know grumpy mccain and doesn't have a shred of -- even in his onion belt. he has nothing he can do to keep up with her. so i just want people to know, you know, he has no idea what he's talking about. she was wonderful to my family

member. and we are very proud to know her. >> stephanie: thank you for that. i know. it makes you so outraged. the way the president did in his press conference. how dare you grampy. don't tell the onion belt story again at thanksgiving. >> go over to shelbyville? i needed a new heel for my shoe. so i decided to go to morganville. which is what they call shelbyville. i tied an onion to my belt which was the style at the time. no. it costs a nickel. in those days, nickels had pictures of bumble bees on them. now, where were we? oh yes the important thing.

i had an onion on my belt which was the style at the time. they didn't have white onions. because of the war. the only thing you could get was those big yellow ones. [ applause ] >> i haven't played that whole thing in awhile. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: oh boy. [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ] >> get your onions in benghazi. >> stephanie: oh, god grampy, really? >> slammed republican officials for turning after angle for cabinet posts a few days earlier. it is stunning, this is the friday before the election, we were in cincinnati for this huge rally. tens of thousands of people. you could feel the energy 100 top tier romney surrogates were backstage with some of them. i won't mention their names. >> stephanie: do tell. we'll fill in the blanks. they're talking about romney like he's reagan. his debate performances were the best of any republican nominee in presidential history.

he's iconic. really? splat! they were talking about him because they believed he was going to win in four or five days and in fact, some of them were talking about our transition to position themselves for a romney cabinet. i won't say who they are. they know who they are. they were on television. it was unbelievable. five, six days later eviscerating. >> wow. many of the officials i might add chose to stay out of it. that chose not to run. they leave this race with unwinnable -- chris christie. i think they're looking at you. [ ♪ dramatic ♪ ] among others. >> that's awesome. >> stephanie: all right. senator rand paul on the fiscal cliff by the way. here he is. >> the bottom line is it is a mistake to raise taxes on anybody we shouldn't give in on it. those who are new here, please hold the line. there is one compromise i would be in favor of. all spending should be cut. we compromise enough to say let's look for some ways to the military budget.

liberals say entitlements have to be picked. >> stephanie: that's not exactly a compromise. [ ding ding ] [ applause ] >> besides, this isn't really raising taxes. this is letting the bush tax cuts expire as they were supposed to do two years ago. >> which is what george bush designed them to do. >> your guy. >> stephanie: some people haven't gotten the memo about the election results. that's not a compromise. >> you do what we say and then we'll think about maybe doing some cuts to the military. >> i don't care for rand paul. or his wig. >> stephanie: the headline is rich people complain the fiscal deal could force them to pay slightly higher taxes. it is outrageous. "new york times" profile -- several wealthy investors bemoaning the higher tax rates. these individuals are now attempting to avoid potential increases by cashing out now. among them, john mooring medical equipment company owner sold $650,000 in dividend paying stocks a few days after the

election. worried about a possible increase in taxes. casino magnet steve wynn hinted higher taxes would force him to rethink the payouts. however, not much logic behind the hysteria according to analysts. "wall street journal" dumping stocks for the higher capital gains rates makes sense for most -- it beats paying higher taxes now. the longer you can keep uncle sam out of your pockets despite the alarm railed, about fourle four million out of about 114 million americans. everybody settle after the election. settle. i love this guy. extremely rich wall street ceo wants americans to work longer. ceo of goldman sachs says he believes the retirement age needs to be raised because in general entitlements have to be slowed down. he said you're going to have to do something to lower people's expectations. entitlements, what people think they're going to get because they're not going to get it. this is a guy who makes $450

million a year. so for him to work a couple of extra years, that's a little different than -- yeah. for starters, social security can pay full benefits for decades without any changes at all. one simple change, raising the cap on the payroll tax can guarantee the program would pay -- >> paying into it. >> stephanie: 3/4 of a century. >> social security is barred from adding a dime to the federal deficit. cutting it doesn't change the deficit or debt picture. a year or two of extra work, think progress writes may not seem like much with his cushy corner office. for a factory worker or janitor it can be real problems. life expectancy is longer. >> you can't afford a little hike in your taxes? really? >> stephanie: no. >> can i make a request? can we take justin on line one? i want to hear this. >> stephanie: okay. justin in huntington beach.

you're on "the stephanie miller show." hi justin. >> caller: hey, guys, how you doing? i don't know if this makes me the world's best father or the world's worst father because my son and i basically raised him watching your show. so but what's really funny is every time he hears reince priebus, he says reince priebus. it doesn't matter whether it is on the radio or in the car. it is pretty hysterical. >> reince priebus. >> stephanie: i'm sorry. do it again justin. >> really loud. reince priebus. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: what's his name? >> his name is logan. >> stephanie: logan. >> caller: if i can do it one of these days. he also does a rush limbaugh, thanks, jim which is quite hysterical as well. real quick though, i want to say happy thanksgiving and parting shot is you know that picture of mitt romney at the gas station

didn't it look like he just came off a three-day coke bender from the bunny ranch? seriously. that's the exact thought that popped into my head. happy thanksgiving. >> stephanie: justin happy thanksgiving to you and logan. my dream is that logan will grow up to marry this little girl. that girl. ♪ i'm walkin' on sunshine ♪ ♪ whoa ♪ >> stephanie: happy thanksgiving. they'll get married and it is officiated by the lying sack of crap. ♪ lying sack of crap ♪ ♪ you're a lying sack of crap ♪ ♪ sticky, messy sack of liquid crap ♪ >> all right. we're raising the next generation. really immature liberals. ♪ i believe that children are our future ♪ [farting sounds]

>> stephanie: you're on "the stephanie miller show." go ahead. >> caller: i'm so glad that mudcat sanders got eric cantor got him to shut up. also i think that we already did compromise on the tax hikes for the rich. didn't we do that in 2010? how many times are we going to do the same compromise where you won't mess up people's unemployment. okay. the rich can keep the low taxes. >> stephanie: right. we've been there, done that. the president said i'm not going to do it again. i said this is a one-time proposition. there you go. earl in illinois. hello, earl. >> caller: happy thanksgiving to you, everyone. >> stephanie: thank you, you too. >> caller: i try not to get mad and use of language that can't be put on the radio but somebody really needs to walk up to john mccain and snap the teeth out of his mouth. that's what he needs.

give him a brain pill. how can he possibly -- after what he said about condoleezza rice turn around talk about susan rice? her credentials are better than condoleezza rice's was and condoleezza rice didn't say -- susan rice didn't say oops, sorry, we have weapons of mass destruction. >> stephanie: right. it makes it particularly more hypocritical. absolutely defended her. >> she was lying. people on the ground saying -- there are wamds. >> slap the what out of his mouth? >> taste. >> stephanie: stephanie miller show, we don't recommend that. >> sure we do. >> stephanie: no we do not. 45 minutes. >> metaphorically. >> stephanie: is that possible? >> 45 minutes after the hour. >> i'm sure at his age grampy has no taste anyways. >> stephanie: he likes cream corn. >> cream corn and onions.

>> grandpa. matlock's not real. >> neither are my teeth. but i can still eat corn on the cob if someone cuts it off and smooches it into a fine paste. that's good eaten. >> stephanie: right back on "the stephanie miller show" with receipt wing world. >> announcer: there's a tea party in her pants. call now. 1-800-steph-12.

smiles make more smiles. when the chocolate is hershey's. life is delicious.

[ ♪ music ♪ ] [ ♪ music ♪ ] >> announcer: stephanie miller >> stephanie miller. ♪ i'm a bitch i'm lover i'm a child, i'm a mother ♪ i'm a sinner, i'm a saint i do not feel ashamed ♪ ♪ i'm your dream i'm nothing in between ♪

♪ you know you wouldn't want it any other way ♪ >> actually, yeah, i would want it just about any other way than that crazy. although -- never mind. >> stephanie: oh. you want me to do that to you in a theatre? 51 minutes after the hour. >> different song. >> stephanie: all i'm worried about is our date on saturday. >> oh, god you just asked me to pick me up. are you going to pick me up like a regular man? we're going to the theatre. we're going to get umbrella hats. >> when i pick you up. >> i don't have a -- with the fringe on the top. sorry. >> play is at what? 2:00 matinee because we're losers. >> we can't go to a nighttime play. are you kidding? >> no! [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ] >> stephanie: even with a holiday weekend. losers. nasa's mars rover curiosity has

made a discovery for the history books. we'll have to wait a few weeks to learn what the red planet fine may be. we know what it is. >> mars. needs. women. >> that explains so much. >> right. >> stephanie: let's dive into the right-wing world, shall we, kids? see from the red planet to red state to the right-wing world. okay. rush limbaugh on the president. >> if you're anti-capitalist which obama is it is much easier to attack capitalism when you've driven the unemployment rate up to 8% to 10%. you've got real pain. people can't find jobs which means they can't find income and can't support themselves which means they can't live. that situation is made-to-order for you. you come in as santa claus. and you make sure that the circumstances that exist are not that painful for people who don't have jobs. >> stephanie: wow, are we going to have four years of this? the president -- wants a bad economy on purpose.

>> he inherited the bad economy from george w. bush. and he's been fixing it slowly ever since. >> stephanie: so george bush is the real socialist. that's obviously the point of that. okay. charles payne, fox business channel. >> zero federal income tax suck up more of the benefits you're talking about and suck up in a year. people who are self-made, not trillionaires, not even multi-millionaires but successful in america have to be punished for it. i find it to be the most despicable people on the planet. i really do. they're not being honest. it is not true economic policy. it is punishment. it is punitive and guess what. everybody out there rooting for it. you ask yourself the next day will you wake up with better job skills. will we wake up as more of a competitive country. will it take us over a fiscal cliff? >> we might go back to the clinton years when everybody was doing so badly. that was awful.

>> god. >> stephanie: okay. >> he doesn't know much about economics. >> i'm a -- on the fox business channel. >> andrea tan tear rose on the 5. >> it is always a lone wolf or an isolated incident. >> a series of weapons of mass destruction. >> stephanie: acknowledge terror right before he shot bin laden in the eye. just sayin'. >> that. >> just scrambling. >> the thing -- >> stephanie: pretty much summed up -- we don't need to do right-wing world. we'll just play that. >> wolves. lone wolves. >> stephanie: john bolton on the fox news. >> i think that it's through the tatter terrorism efforts internationally of the c.i.a. and other elements of the intelligence community that we're most likely to find out who did it. track them down and do that terrible thing that the obama

administration doesn't like to do. use rendition to get these people to guantanamo bay and try a little gentle persuasion to see what might have happened. >> wow. torture. >> stephanie: that guy. that guy. that guy would have been in the romney administration. that guy. okay. michael graham on fox news on immigration. here we go. michael graham. >> if you want a communist united states and work and make our nation better while making yourself better, come on! we've got legal immigration as marco said. if you're coming here because i want to live in america everything is free in america there's no country in the world says hey, send us your deadbeats so we can put them on the deadbeat dole as soon as they arrive. it is a crazy message. it is a slap in the face to the millions and millions of legal immigrants who come here, work and then their tax dollars go to pay bums to live off of our system. >> stephanie: at least he has a soothing tone of voice. >> how come everybody is so

yelly today? >> stephanie: i don't know. >> because romney lost black guy in the white house! [ ♪ "jeopardy" theme ♪ ] >> stephanie: who said pakistanis fight against indians. greeks and turks and palestinians. different cultures fight over ethnic and geographic grudges from the past. here in america, they come together to build a future. who said that? >> reince priebus. >> stephanie: no. that was a very bad guess. governor jennifer granholm. a fabulous piece in politico. fix immigration. she has a fabulous show here on the current television network by quinky dink. >> she's a coworker. >> stephanie: good point on immigration. mark levine. >> does crystal know what obama is all about. do you think obama is going to be satisfied with whatever he gets here? you create a head of steam for the guy. oh and then one other finally. you just undermined your base in the republican party. it is not a base for the rich. stop talking like the lid you used to be, bill.

we're talking about defending private property rights. we're talking about defending people, whoever they are however much they earn whether they're white, black yellow or whatever. defending their right to earn a living to create and produce. >> if people making hundreds of millions of dollars have to pay slightly more in taxes that's like the holocaust. >> stephanie: exactly. boys. bill crystal don't fight. you're both incredibly wrong most of the time. don't fight. >> both not pretty. >> stephanie: not really. >> stephanie miller. sark castic. -- sarcastic. >> stephanie: deb in california you're on "the stephanie miller show." >> caller: hey there love. good to talk to you. happy thanksgiving to everybody. >> stephanie: you, too. >> caller: i'm calling because this susan rice thing with the 97 republicans writing some letter -- you know, every time the republicans speak and i shouldn't say it like that but every time the liars speak, it is like projection.

psychology 101 where -- you know how they said that she is either -- either willfully or incompetently misleading the american public? guess what. these 97 republicans are both willfully and incompetently misleading the american people. just with that letter alone because they know what the truth is by now. they've got to stop. i think what we need to do is have your staff or -- i'm talking to everybody i know about getting online and sending these 97 republicans a letter worded exactly the same. telling them they're not so bright. >> stephanie: exactly. and by the way, we had an election! lord move on! 58 minutes after the hour. sexy liberal, hal sparks, hump days with hal next on "the stephanie miller show." governor tomorrow night. she is awesome. we'll be right back on the "stephanie miller show."

ñ [ ♪ theme ♪ ] >> stephanie: happy thanksgiving jacki schechner. you know i love you because look at the tasty thanksgiving dish i brought you. [ ding ding ] >> does it come with marshmallows? >> jacki and i had a lovely hug at your victory party. >> stephanie: really? >> yeah. >> we had a moment. >> we did. >> surrounded like 30 other people in the dark. >> stephanie: don't you love when guys pretend like it is affection and it is having your breasts against them for as long as possible. >> it takes awhile to find them. >> it was more of a hand small of the back moment than a -- >> stephanie: it was an

exploratory mission. >> i wasn't searching for side boob which is a movie about education, i think. >> stephanie: ladies and gentlemen, here she is. full frontal in the current news center, jacki schechner. >> it is getting whacky. good morning everybody. as stephanie mentioned earlier iowa governor says it is time to do away with the iowa straw poll. the republican lawmaker tells the "wall street journal" that while the ritual is a good fund-raiser for state republicans, it is pretty much outlived its usefulness. straw poll dates back to 1979 where the party throws what amounts to a little party with food, entertainment and a couple of political speeches. not only are the results of the poll not binding but they also rarely predict anything of any significance when it comes to who might win the presidential nomination or even the iowa caucuses. michele bachmann won the 2011 straw poll and we know how that turned out. a 10-year-old girl with two fathers can be thankful this holiday for her new pen pal. president obama. sofia bailey wrote to the

president calling him her hero for saying it is okay for two men to love each other. one of sofia's dads posted the letter on facebook and in it, sofia refers to herself as the president's friend who invited him to dinner and then says "you don't remember okay, that's all right." she goes on to say she gets teased at school for -- by kids who call her fathers' love gross. she asked for some advice. in a letter back to sofia which the dad also posted on facebook, the president tells sofia to remind her friends of the golden rule. she is lucky to have two loving parents and apologizes for not being able to join her for dinner. just a little fun fact for you. this preturkey day. 43 million people expected to travel today. i will be one of them. if you are too, have a safe, safe travel day and a happy holiday. we'll see you with more steph after the break.

very, very excited about that and very proud of that. >>beltway politics from inside the loop. >>we tackle the big issues here in our nation's capital, around the country and around the globe. >>dc columnist and four time emmy winner bill press opens current's morning news block. >>we'll do our best to carry the flag from 6 to 9 every morning. >>liberal and proud of it.

[ ♪ theme music ♪ ] >> announcer: ladies and gentlemen, it's "the stephanie miller show." ♪ i'm walk on is -- sunshine ♪ ♪ i'm walkin' on sunshine ♪ ♪ and it's time to feel good ♪ ♪ hey, all right now ♪ ♪ and it's time to feel good ♪ >> stephanie: wahoo. last hour before thanksgiving vacation. six minutes after the hour. >> that means this hour is going to be even weirder. >> stephanie: with a very tasty side dish. >> stephy. >> what's that heavy breathing i hear? why, could it be? ♪ the humpty dance do the hump ♪ >> stephanie: hump days with hal sparks. >> yes, yes! >> hi, there. hey.

wow. >> stephanie: how are you, tasty little side dish? >> i'm on my way here and you know i'm only on the one hour so i'm in the coffee bean picking up something and i roll in and this woman goes aren't you supposed to be on the radio? i'm rushing out to my car to hear you. aren't you supposed to be on the radio right now? don't worry. don't rush. don't crash your car. >> stephanie: everybody's -- >> runs past me. aren't you supposed to be on the radio right now. making robot doubles of himself. >> stephanie: t-bone sent this for you. the secessionist states of america. sour grape stan, belly ache ya. >> there have been a lot of arguments -- >> do your sean hannity. >> nook, nook, nook, i think we should leave the united states because they don't believe in freedom. nook nook, nook. of course, we'll lose all of our

military bases and infrastructures, bridges and roads, nook, nook, nook, but we would be more free to shoot each other and drink ourselves into a hell hole. nook nook. i'm sean hannity. nook nook, nook. what a goon. o'reilly is chasing him down the kind of -- ward cleaver, june cleve, all of that is done. you're shocked we're not '50s america. there are two places where republicans go when they talk about -- when they harkin back. both places are where black people had a lot less rights. what there seems to be the only difference between like 50% of the right wing is that some of them just want minorities to have viewer rights and the other half want minorities to have rights and there seems to be a civil war between the two. it is like a tug-of-war over whether chicks should be allowed to work for business sake. they don't think they belong

there but they might be -- you know, they're not as -- they don't have as much gumption. they're great in the office. work twice as hard for 70% of the money. that's great. >> nook, nook. >> stephanie: as i mentioned to you, the senate got a few binders full of women. did you see the picture of mitt pumping the gas? >> that was pretty good. >> stephanie: in the wrinkled shirt? >> if he post that the picture before, it might have helped him. that's the funny part. >> i can relate to that guy. bagged out tired and pumping his own gas. >> it looked like he was coming off a three day coke bender. >> totally. he's gotta grow a beard and wander around like al gore in an airport. >> stephanie: that was nick nolte-ish. >> mitt romney mugshot. how far away is it? >> stephanie: ann warned us, i

worry about his mental health. gets a little crazy. >> it is nice to know if he had become president in the transition, all of the stuff would be going down between israel and the gaza strip. his mental health would have been keen right now. would have been tuned to -- >> stephanie: stephaniemiller.com where you can e-mail us all an e-mail, i'm taken aback by the lack of fart jokes. tons of turkey delivered to colons. throw in your mom's cabbage the methane about to be released should melt polar icecaps. we have a global emergency. terry, you're right. we're on al gore's network. we should alert people. >> absolutely. >> stephanie: totally. >> really. >> you have two hours to get all of the stuff out of your system.

>> remind me to come in at 6:00 next week. >> stephanie: gary in new jersey, you're on with hal. hello, gary. >> caller: hello there sexy mama. happy thanksgiving to you all. >> fire away. >> stephanie: yes, go ahead. >> caller: happy thanksgiving, sexy mama and all of your mignons. a couple of quick things. i know you're pressed for time. i'm thankful mitt romney is -- that big bird is still with us. i've been thinking about the election in 2016. we might have joe biden versus sarah palin. i can't wait for that debate. grandfather trying to explain to a toddler why she can't drive a car. >> stephanie: that will be a thing of beauty. >> toddlers have an excuse for being ignorant. they actually don't know anything. they just arrived. it is more like one of those sweet 16 teenagers. one of those -- on mtv. it would be like explaining politics to -- whatever!

but i read lots of stuff. shut up. how do you spell lol? >> stephanie: how do you spell lol backwards? >> access to maps. >> everybody knows that -- that greece is afghanistan's road to the ocean. >> that's the word. >> right, right? >> stephanie: okay. hey, looky here. why you know our fancy numbers here. nate silver's gay. as it turns out he is gay. what? they are big, gay numbers. >> is everybody gay? >> everybody was right. >> i'm not gay. >> stephanie: that's true. nate silver -- interest of math and numbers when he was young negotiatey agnostic and gay. silver is an intelligent numbers cruncher. he's also been out for years. this is the first time he's

explicitly acknowledged his gayness. for now, he can bask in the warmth of his $700,000 book deal. the guy from unskewed poll is getting his copy now perhaps. >> no. that guy has put together a new web site explaining how obama stole the election. >> barack o fraud. same guy. >> keep telling yourself that and keep telling yourself up to the next midterm. we're going to hammer this so hard over the next two years. >> absolutely. >> stephanie: yep. [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ] by the way, what do you call it, the nudist fan in san francisco. >> the nudist ban? >> that wouldn't go over well. >> stephanie: that question in particular in san francisco. >> is everybody gay? >> pretty much. pretty much. >> stephanie: yeah, it passed, the gay ban. >> no.

>> the nudity ban. >> stephanie: you know what i'm saying. >> there is kind of a difference. >> stephanie: i know. nudists have vowed to reject an order from a bunch of uptight americans -- to cover up. san francisco nudists said monday they would continue to walk the streets naked regardless of the proposed -- you know, i'm a liberal. can i just say i'm a little ex-catholic girl. i don't want to sit on public -- >> i don't want to sit on a bus seat that someone -- >> stephanie: someone's twigs was on. berries. >> yeah. for their own health. i'm wearing clothing at least. i have a barrier of protection. they have no idea what happened there a moment ago. that's one of the reasons why we wear clothes. it is one -- actually, clothing is one of the reasons why humans were able to advance beyond the stage of instant disease and being consumed by predators is because we were able to survive

you know, weather conditions that we normally would not survive and save ourselves from things that would get infect and kill us. >> stephanie: i have to think of the children. >> i don't care about kids. >> stephanie: screw them. >> they're naked half the time anyways. >> somebody please think of the children! >> stephanie: somebody that runs a business near this plaza where he said people think this is a gay issue but it's not. a lot of people have kids now and there is a school a block away. kids come here about 2:00 p.m. every day. these people think because gays are tolerant, they can do this but it is not acceptable. >> i'm not a fan of the -- walking down the street nude. >> first of all everybody can't be naked because we have stuff to do. too distracted. there is a certain level -- i don't believe in victorian clothing but a certain level of minor covering up is i think healthy for daily activity. otherwise, i would be far too distracted and i never would have arrived this morning. the lady at the coffeepot didn't

make it, i might never have mailed it. even if i didn't do anything with her, i would be staring and forget what time it is. ah, i missed another appointment at the bank! foreclosures through the roof. nudity on the rise. damn it. >> stephanie: the added fun fact in this. the representative who proposed the ban, scott weiner. ironically. >> how do we know if they're covered up. >> stephanie: it is a busy transit district. it is a plaza a lot of naked men displaying themselves spread eagle. many business owners complain some of the people attracted to the freedom were using nudity as an excuse. >> if you hang around schoolyards, youd to inget arrested for being naked. >> stephanie: apparently there were a lot of men in a certain state. >> a turgid state. >> stephanie: yes, yes. like that part of indiana --

from yesterday. he said he called from the turgent part. >> there was a comedian that had a great joke. he goes the big worry about nudity in public is pedophilia and he goes well, certainly be easier to catch him. know what i mean. the guy parked in the truck maybe it is harder to spot but the guy standing there with the erection, you know, he looks a little suspect. might want to call the cops. that guy is giving me -- i'm getting mixed signals from that one. >> stephanie: any man who's ever sat naked in wicker knows it is not a good idea. >> how do you know? >> stephanie: because that guy -- >> never cook bacon while you're naked. >> stephanie: because we've done several news stories about guys who have gotten stuck in ver spaces of -- various spaces of furniture. >> wicker? >> stephanie: yeah. they swell. caught in certain things.

>> they don't win darwin awards but darwin injuries. there is a certain point where it wouldn't have taken you out completely but might have taken you out of commission. >> stephanie: embarrassing to say i need you to get this wicker chair off my balls. >> wouldn't you throw down a towel or cushion? >> i would. thank you for asking, chris. i would. you're right. >> stephanie: can you come help me? i have an appointment. >> i have a velcro issue. all right. 18 minutes after the hour. we continue hump days with hal sparks on "the stephanie miller show." >> hey, a freak show! >> announcer: it's "the stephanie miller show."

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(vo) always outspoken, now unleashed. joy behar. >> i'll talk about surviving thanksgiving with relationship guru iyanla vanzant, and chef michael simon, on say anything. [ ♪ music ♪ ] >> this is a vintage arizona state university shirt. it's the only college mascot. >> stephanie: the won a stanley cup.

>> yes, they did. ♪ and those hollywood nights ♪ and those hollywood hills ♪ >> stephanie miller. ♪ was lookin' so right ♪ ♪ in her diamonds and thrills ♪ >> stephanie: it is "the stephanie miller show." 23 minutes after the hour. hump days with hal sparks. sexy liberal. 1-800-steph-12 the phone number. look, it is another holiday gift everybody. [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ] yesterday, kelly -- >> it either means pure meat or meat from the rhine river. >> republican dead meat. former top aide to scott walker -- [ ♪ dramatic ♪ ] was sentenced to six months of jail time after being convicted for her role in the john doe criminal corruption probe. new and damaging information detailing scott walker's knowledge of the illegal campaign activity carried out in his behalf was entered into the

court record. [ ♪ dramatic ♪ ] >> oh, no! >> stephanie: we could have a whole long frog march. karl rove. >> he won't be able to undo the same day voter registration in wisconsin. the longest-held same-day voter registration law in the country? he won't be able to undo that? >> no. >> i think that's -- >> reince priebus! >> stephanie: mike in buffalo. hi mike. welcome. >> caller: hey steph. >> stephanie: hey, go ahead. >> caller: long time fan i saw you guys at shea's. it was like a trifecta. i saw john this morning sitting in for bill press and you got hal there. that's great. i have two points to make. one is benghazi related. i read an editorial about an embassy -- during the bush administration with multiple deaths and wounded and yet it is off the radar screen.

that was something to fact check. because of the lack of politicalization by the left, you know. during that period. the other point is grover norquist. you just heard rand paul. former ceo of ubs. a month or two ago said in the whole history of our country we've raised revenues after wars to pay for them. republicans are telling us we have to cut education, cut programs for the elderly. in order to pay for the deficit which you know, in large part was created by these wars and the tax policies. >> stephanie: tax cuts for the rich. >> caller: democrats, especially the president, has to start framing a better narrative in going after these people who are saying we can't raise taxes on millionaires and billionaires and job creators for the

simple -- they're cutting checks for the taxes -- political contributions for the taxes they would be paying for the next decade. >> stephanie: i agree. hal, i just saw norquist the other day. if republicans ever want to win another election, don't they need to disavow them? they can't primary all of them -- >> it seems like they're looking to be a house party literally. they've almost written off the presidential election. maybe that's the thought with the 47% concept. that's actually a 53% concept if you look at people who are like -- they're only about less than 30% hard line republicans in this country and a lot of those are just t-shirt wearing republicans. they have an r on their jersey because that's how they've always voted. >> stephanie: why would they stay loyal to a guy named grover? >> out of fear. because they're true believers. that's the problems. that's why they can't remessage for 2016. they'll try. they'll try to package what they're doing but they really do believe in trickle down.

they really think it works. even though it never has. and they think that the reason it failed is because reagan's presidency wasn't long enough. that george w. bush's presidency wasn't long enough. if it had got an guy in there that had been able to continue that and -- >> stephanie: election results. i just don't get it. to me, it borders on treasonist. signed a pledge to a person and not to the constitution. they're going to do this same thing all over again? it is like the election didn't happen. >> well again arguably, he just gives them a lightning wrod where they can get off easy. they believe that stuff too. so it is not a drift for them to sign that because they're going to do it anyways. there are a couple of the waivery ones, arguably mitt romney was one of those people. but decided to sign it as a way to bolster his image. i think that would have been his equivalent of read my lips had he become president. he would have had to raise revenue to pay for the wars

which is the patriotic act to do. that's the thing. i think one of the ways you can redress this raising the taxes on the rich idea is that we still have to pay off these two wars. that's why we have to cut entitlements and cut schools and all of that stuff. the reason we're having to cut those ideas or think about cutting them is because we're not bothering to pay for the wars. >> stephanie: richard in massachusetts. hey, richard. >> caller: hi, stephanie. thanks guys. stephanie, john mccain got his nerve to call susan rice not very bright when he graduated third from the bottom at westpoint when he graduated from there. >> stephanie: yes and then picked sarah palin as the brightest person ever to serve the leader of the free world. >> he's turned out to be a bitter old man. who he should be bitter at and mad at is karl rove and george w. bush. don't forget, he won that primary in new hampshire in 2000. they had to pull out all of the stops in south carolina because they knew if he won in south carolina, he would have got the nomination.

so they said he fathered a black child. he said that he was in prison for five and a half years. he was not really very stable. that's what did him in. he should be mad at them and nobody else. >> stephanie: yeah. >> believe me, the thing is he's mad at them and everybody else. i think there's plenty of abject rage in john mccain to go around and that's kind of the problem because sometimes it just doesn't find a logical home. >> stephanie: that old picture of him hugging george w. bush. he looks like a rock 'em sock 'em robot. >> i try not to touch you. >> stephanie: he seems very warm very authentic. 29 minutes after the hour. back with more hump days with hal on "the stephanie miller show." i think the number one thing that viewers like about the young turks is that we're honest. they know that i'm not bs'ing them with some hidden agenda, actually supporting one

party or the other. when the democrats are wrong, they know that i'm going to be the first one to call them out. they can question whether i'm right, but i think that the audience gets that this guy, to the best of his ability, is trying to look out for us.

[ ♪ music ♪ ]

>> announcer: stephanie miller. >> we were actually looking for a cheap miller but you're a sexy little trash, the second you started shaking the guys would drop dead. >> stephanie: all those years. >> look at all that that you're doing. >> stephanie: by the way, i'm >> what kind of a thanksgiving dinner is this? where's the turkey? don't you know anything about thanksgiving dinners? where's the mashed potatoes? where's the cranberry sauce? where's the pumpkin pie? >> go home! what's wrong with you? >> stephanie: it is the "the stephanie miller show." >> complain, complain, complain. >> gluttonous maniac. maybe one of the ways of showing you're thankful is you don't have to gorge yourself like it is 1812 and you have to eat all of the harvest food before it rots because refrigerators haven't been invented yet. >> here is a good way to show you're thankful. eat enough but give some away.

show your abundance by not gaining four pounds over the weekend. >> stephanie: wow. speaking of which -- [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ] exciting sexy liberal news coming up. i've got -- the main thing i'm concerned about. i have to get a new writer for sexy liberal. we get nothing backstage. rihanna first sounds like stoner heaven. chee-tos ruffles oreos gummy bears. >> tmz has the full list. several pages long. would you like the highlights? this is what she demands backstage. one package of oreos one large haribo brand gummy bears ten bags cheddar cheese ruffles, ten bags of flaming hot chee-tos, stuffed olives, a box of golden graham cereals babybel cheeses. >> i don't know what the big deal is. i should put that all in the blender and that's like a power

shake for elvis. >> why isn't she like 6,000 pounds? >> she hates all of that stuff. you put it all backstage so you don't touch it. if you put healthy food, she would be gorging herself on it all day. >> stephanie: why are you talking like elvis? >> because he ate a lot of crap. >> stephanie: okay. >> i think it is kind of funny. >> ke$ha. >> stephanie: she's just weird! i feel -- i don't do enough for my fans. she's made a bra out of her fan's teeth. >> eww. >> stephanie: she asked her twitter followers to send her a tooth each. she received 1,000 of her fans teeth and decided to create a headdress out of it. her close connection to her fans keeps her going. >> how did the fans get the teeth out of their head? >> stephanie: i don't know. >> little kid fans who have -- you know -- >> that's even creepier that she did a bra out of children's teeth. >> stephanie: just send me one toenail piece.

please get the toe-jam out of it. >> don't do that. travis will have to -- >> stephanie: i'll make a necklace. >> send stephanie your toenail clippings. she'll make a hat. >> stephanie: i'm going to make a hat. [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ] don't i look super in this hat? okay. ♪ i'm super ♪ ♪ thanks for asking ♪ ♪ all things considered i couldn't be better ♪ ♪ i'm feeling super ♪ ♪ nothing bugs me ♪ ♪ everything is super when you're don't you think i look cute in this hat ♪ the situation, i know this is breaking news to nobody from the jersey shore not very bright. he accidentally tweeted his phone number. >> wow. how do you accidentally -- >> he thought he was sending a direct message which is a private message between two people. he accidentally sent it out as a tweet. >> stephanie: he said my phone is ringing off the hook. we definitely have a situation. because he's the situation. >> he tweeted that one.

there is a book about like gorilla marketing and that kind of stuff and one of the things you do is -- and i've done that. i did it with the number -- i use -- in my skype to do radio stuff sometimes on my show so it gives you a number so i -- i tweeted that thing or whatever. oops. and then people will all -- add it to the thing. then you get more callers because you're automatically in their auto dial err. >> stephanie: don't do the creepy elmo voice. it has resigned. there has been a second allegation. >> a river outside of pittsburgh. allegation. alligator. it does business. business alligator. [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ] >> i quit. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: tweet says -- >> sorry, go ahead.

>> stephanie: not a support to divided government. it was a clean sweep by the democrats. would you like to see the fun facts? guess what romney won? ironically 47%! >> ha ha! >> okay. there is a comedy god. 53.6% of the vote went to democrats. for the house, 49% went to democrats. 48.2% for the republicans. that's not a vote for divide government. it is a clean sweep because the boehner said american people -- tonight they've responded for renewing our house republican majority. no. >> stephanie: the american people have made clear there is no mandate for raising taxes. even people that voted for romney 60% in the exit poll say they think -- >> here's a news flash for people. there is actually a decent portion of republicans who believe that when you are in two

wars, you actually try to pay for them in a reasonable way. however you feel about entitlements that, deficit is all about war. >> stephanie: right. anyway, we just talked about with adam schiff t is the redistricting and all of that. the democrats again won the popular vote in the house. it is because of the -- they made all of those districts. all right. 1-800-steph-12 the phone number. let's go to peggy in missouri. you're on with hal. hi peggy. >> caller: hi. >> stephanie: hi. >> good morning. >> caller: i heard your comments earlier when you were talking about john bolton. scary. he said something about oh, i don't know, waterboarding is gentle persuasion or something. >> stephanie: gentle persuasion he called it. >> caller: i wanted to say i love your clink impression of reince priebus. they're so funny. >> it doesn't sound like his name because he's really whiny.

>> like wolf blitzer. >> wolf blitzer and reince priebus. >> oh, well, we'll have to leave it there. >> stephanie: peggy did you have something else? >> caller: yeah. reince priebus reminds me so of scott walker. yeah my comment was about did you know that i believe lynn cheney will have her own show. that's what i heard. she keeps filling in for o'reilly. she's filled in for laura. >> stephanie: wouldn't that be fun. liz cheney. well. >> she's been on three times. >> stephanie: that screams entertainment, doesn't it? >> because all of the things that she said over the last two years have really worked out. >> panned out. >> yeah. >> stephanie: yes, chris. >> nothing. >> stephanie: i thought you were chuckling. >> half the time she's about this far away from fema camps. >> stephanie: exactly. hello edwin in richmond, virginia. welcome.

>> yes hello. thanks for taking my call. hello, commies. sad day for america. we should all shoot a native-american in the face. >> stephanie: what? >> caller: that's awful. anyway -- [ buzzer ] >> caller: my thanksgiving because of my liberal views. >> stephanie: you're going to be kicked out of your family? >> caller: no. just the day of gorging. however, yeah, so you know, the whole facts thing. tried to use one of those in a calm manner and it went out of control. >> stephanie: there will be a lot of tense thanksgivings. any tips for thanksgiving with your right wing relatives? >> wait until they've eat an lot of turkey so the tryptophan gets in their system and it almost puts them in a hypnotic state. hundreds of people who think -- you just had a turkey leg. guess what. the earth is billions of years old. not six days. it was made in -- god didn't require these.

you actually believe god is lazy. sort of. but not just -- >> stephanie: okay. eric in texas you're on "the stephanie miller show." welcome, eric. >> caller: how you doing? >> stephanie: yes, go ahead. >> caller: we live in texas. if texas secedes we will be repatriated to austin and will there be an airlift to austin? >> i've done a lot of shows in austin. because i'm a mid-level celebrity comedian, i was allowed to look at the rockets that are actually buried under austin. and when -- and if texas secedes, a dome will form over it. there is enough rocket fuel in to iron man get you just out over the border. >> stephanie: catapult. >> land in southern illinois actually. >> stephanie: enjoy.

thank you for that fun fact. >> we will collide. >> my favorite thing about the secession thing is that they actually think they're going to keep their military bases and that they're going to be able to fight off mexico. good luck with that. i'm dead serious. you know what? the only difference between texas presecession versus post-secession is all of the severed heads they're finding on the other side of the border will be happening on the texas side of the border because that's what will happen. the only thing holding that back is the federal government. >> stephanie: yep. and all of the hostess jobs might go to mexico. they'll have to build a fence to keep americans out. >> they'll be defending cracker barrel like the alamo. >> stephanie: jay in lexington, kentucky. >> just ran out of salt water taffy. >> stephanie: hi jay. >> caller: good morning, hal. thanks for stopping by when you were in town a couple of months ago. it was great. >> where are you? >> stephanie: lexington kentucky. >> i have to because my folks live in the state. i have to perform once a year or

they get angry with me. they get two holidays and one show. >> two points, steph. mitch mcconnell wrote an op-ed in the lexington herald on monday. you can look it up. kentucky.com. he says all of kentucky went for mitt romney except for the two biggest cities so he's going to represent the views of kentucky. >> stephanie: oh, i see. >> kentucky but not kentuckians. that's the fascinating part. >> stephanie: he's going to eat everything except for parts he doesn't like. he will represent the state except for the parts he doesn't like. >> stephanie: blue sections are like peas. hal sparks is so show business. i love that. [ applause ] you want me to go back to kentucky for free? no, i'll do a show. all right. 45 minutes after the hour. right back with the remaining moment of hump days with hal on "the stephanie miller show." [ whistle ] >> that's a lot of zeros. >> announcer: it's "the stephanie miller show."

[ boy 1 ] hey! that's the last crescent. oh, did you want it? yea we'll split it. [ female announcer ] made fresh, so light buttery and flakey. that's half that's not half! guys, i have more! thanks mom [ female announcer ] pillsbury

crescents. let the making begin the saying easy as pie? i get it now. just unroll it fill, top, bake, and present. that must have taken you forever! it was really tough. [ female announcer ] pillsbury pie crust. let the making begin then how'd i get this... [ voice of dennis ] ...allstate safe driving bonus check? what is that? so weird, right? my agent, tom, said... [ voice of dennis ] ...only allstate sends you a bonus check for every six months you're accident-free... ...but i'm a woman. maybe it's a misprint. does it look like a misprint? ok. what i was trying... [ voice of dennis ] silence. ♪ ♪ ask an allstate agent about the safe driving bonus check. are you in good hands? rich, chewy caramel rolled up in smooth milk chocolate. don't forget about that payroll meeting. rolo.get your smooth on. also in minis.

[ ♪ music ♪ ] >> announcer: stephanie miller . [ ♪ music ♪ ] ♪ pour some sugar on ♪ >> stephanie miller. ♪ pour your sugar on ♪ >> stephanie miller. ♪ can't get enough ♪ ♪ i'm hot sticky sweet ♪ ♪ from my head to my feet, yeah ♪ >> sugar was about the only thing that's not in the -- >> stephanie: happy thanksgiving everybody. 50 minutes after the hour. hump days with hal sparks. >> sauerkraut is one of those dishes thanksgivingwise that

seems to be based on controlled rotting. >> that's what sauerkraut is. >> stephanie: right stage of rot. >> wine is actually controlled rotting. [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ] taco bell takes their -- will they really eat this [ bleep ] campaign one step further. a new snack. it is called the loaded griller. a nachos, chick oner loaded baked potato in a tortilla. containing a quantity of carbohydrates to sustain a camel's harsh journey through the sahara. >> it seems like they're responding to the possibility of the raising the medicare -- social security age by trying to kill off more americans. through crap diet. that seems to be the plan. >> stephanie: paul ryan is going to give a speech on what is it, jim? how to modernize dealing with poor people.

>> right. straight in front of a big fast food restaurant. one of the ways we can solve this problem is knock a bunch of these bastards off. here. eat here! you'll die sooner. >> stephanie: what was mitch mcconnell's idea? >> turn poor people into mulch. >> stephanie: that was his idea of modernization. >> or as i like to call them. leafy americans. >> stephanie: somebody said they think his solution involves greens. >> in some fashion. >> not far off. >> stephanie: jeanie in ohio, you're on with hal. >> caller: hi, everybody. happy thanksgiving. i wanted to say one thing first and then another. we should name the turkeys that president obama is going to pardon karl rove and reince priebus. >> i would like to see them prosecuted first. >> caller: also, i wanted to --

what exactly do the republicans mean when they talk about social security, cutting it. what exactly do they mean? benefits or you know, highering the age. i don't understand what they mean. >> that's exactly it though. quite frankly it usually means nothing. it is a bone they throw. >> stephanie: it is not a crisis a. >> i know that. >> it is a great thing to run on and to fearmonger on. here's the thing. they're not running on it right now because the election is over. fearmongering on it so that they can slow the president's momentum or -- in making any kind of meaningful change in other areas. we have to deal with this. we have to deal with this. this is an emergency. >> don't they know that they scare people and when they do that especially senior citizens. social security disability. it's an awful thing what they do. >> stephanie: i know.

>> that's what you do instead of govern. >> there you go. >> scare people. >> stephanie: sara in michigan you're on "the stephanie miller show" with hal. hi sara. >> caller: good morning, sexy mama. >> stephanie: thank you. hello. >> caller: i want to wish you all a happy thanksgiving. i agree with the previous caller. what i called about is number one, ann romney, the only time i've ever agreed with her. poor mitt. i mean really. him pumping his own gas looking like he slept on the beach. >> stephanie: one thing they said was true is maybe she does buy his shirts at costco. >> his mental state i think they all should have some kind of test now that we've got health insurance don't you think they should have it? >> stephanie: i think. jim, apparently they're going to settle here in california. i thought it was only the trees and lakes were only the right height in michigan. >> lots of lakes.

especially the inland lakes. >> finger lakes. >> stephanie: trees aren't the right height here. >> mitt romney took his family to disneyland yesterday. seriously. i thought that you only went to disneyland when you won something. >> stephanie: you just lost an election. what are you going to do now? >> i'm going to go to disneyland. is that where we're going? or disney adventure. whatever the family wants or maybe we'll go to downtown disney and wander around the parking lot in this wrinkled shirt. >> stephanie: some of the figures are more authentic than he is. >> i think he will take over for mr. lincoln. >> oh, my god. >> robotic. >> that new abe lincoln is so unlife-like. >> i actually think his family took him. from his hair and his shirt that they went -- you have to get out of the house. like you know -- he was like binging on nyquil. >> quit sitting around! >> stephanie: he's on the ride. setting there for hours.

♪ it's a small world afterall ♪ >> we leave him in the house he'll get into the werther's again. >> stephanie: he looks like -- a little poochy. the shirt was a little like -- >> too many bbq pringles. >> may have had some coffee. >> stephanie: rose in madison you're on "the stephanie miller show." hi rose. >> caller: hello! tell everybody in your audience to celebrate thanksgiving by not shopping at walmart on thanksgiving day. black friday and the weekend after. support the workers who are walking out. >> stephanie: okay. all right. >> caller: have you guys heard about this? >> yeah. absolutely. the thing is you know, there's been a big push for small business in this country and across -- everybody talks about how important quote-unquote small business is. one of the things you can do this holiday season is actually try to shop at a small business. >> absolutely. >> find gifts for people or bigod, go to a hardware store

and make a gift. i bought a printer bot this year. >> stephanie: what can you make from a hardware store hal? >> i built a 3d printer yesterday that prints in plastic and you feed filament into it and you can print whatever objects you create. >> that's the creepiest thing i've ever heard. >> it was a kick starter company. they build these things themselves. you assemble it. it is cool. >> stephanie: you do not want anything i could build for you that i could get at a hardware store. >> i would treasure your weird birdhouse where the birds have to live outside for their own safety. >> sharp points inside. >> bird condo? i didn't buy it. i got it on the market at a short sale. >> phillip screwdriver i made it into -- here. >> it is a sculpture of bob ross. >> some nice trees. that's some friendly water right

there. >> steel wool on a screwdriver. [ ♪ magic wand ♪ ] >> stephanie: where can we go for the magic of hal sparks? >> i'm tweeting at hal sparks right now. i'm in philadelphia at helium. >> is that where you act like this? >> stephanie: hal sparks. >> the comedy club. >> stephanie: people have a huge huge sexy liberal announcement to make. have a happy, happy, happy thanksgiving everybody! i'm thankful for all of you. >> really? >> stephanie: no. i just like to say thank you. chris, jim, t-bone, jacki happy thanksgiving everybody. see you monday. >> up in the club. >> stephanie: yeah, and then columbus, ohio, and then seattle en